Breakfast of Champignons

Saturday morning breakfast requirements: can be executed while still partially asleep; goes well with coffee; doesn't require anything exotic; quick clean-up. Ergo, scrambled eggs on toasted baguette with mushrooms, bacon, and cheddar.

• Cooking spray (olive oil version, if you have it)
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1 cup egg whites-in-a-carton (or four eggs, whipped with a whisk)
• 2 cups mushrooms, sliced or roughly chopped
• 1 ounce (about 1/4 cup) grated cheddar
• 4 slices turkey bacon (or regular, if you're a purist), chopped into 1/4 pieces
  
• 2, 6" lengths of baguette, cut in half lengthwise (or whatever bread you have laying around the house)

Note: This sounds vastly more complicated than it is. The whole process, including prep, should take maybe 15 minutes, less if you can press an assistant into service. Good luck with that if your assistant is a teenage boy and you want to serve breakfast before 2pm.

Okay. Preheat the broiler so it cranks up while you cook the eggs and whatnot.

Coat the pan with cooking spray and crank it up to high heat. Throw in the chopped bacon, and fry it until it's nice and crisp, stirring occasionally so it cooks evenly. Scoop it out of the pan and set it aside on a plate. (If you use regular bacon, drain it on a paper towel.)

Lightly wipe out the pan with a paper towel. Re-spray with the cooking spray, dial the heat down to medium, and saute the mushrooms until they're browned in spots and thoroughly cooked (about 5 - 7 minutes). Scoop those out of the pan and let them sit on the plate with the bacon.

Wipe out the pan again, and drop the butter in to melt over medium heat. Pour in the eggs and move them around with a wooden spoon until they firm up. Turn the heat off and ignore them while you do the bread.

Lightly spray (or drizzle) the bread with olive oil. Put the slices on a piece of aluminum foil and toast them under the broiler for maybe 30 seconds (watch carefully so you don't set off the smoke alarm, terrify the cats, piss off the neighbors, and fill the house with the delightful scent of burnt bread).

Pull the bread out of the broiler and top with the eggs and grated cheddar. Put it back under the broiler until the cheese starts to bubble. (Tip: if you want it to get some nice golden-brown bits on top, sprinkle a few grains of dry grated Parmesan on top of the cheddar before you broil it.)

When the cheese is hot and bubbly, take the bread/egg/cheese thingies out of the broiler and put them on two plates. Top with the bacon and mushrooms.

Chow down!